I am in a dating funk. I feel discouraged and disappointed. I don't want to entertain these feelings or give them any more worth than I already have. I have this vivid comic book scene playing out in my mind where the evil villains, Dis Courage and Dis Appointment, are trying to get me. But with a little <POW> here and a few <BAM>s there… I am thinking I can defeat them. Although, I might need Blind Faith to come save the day!
Ok… enough of my silly imagination.
I actually enjoyed my weekend… had a picnic and concert in the park, had a nice dinner, got to see an old high school friend, and even got to enjoy a bit of the beach. As much fun as I was having I came to the realization that I needed to get myself out of relaxation mode and get my tushie in gear with the loooooong list of chores I had at home. So, Sunday I spend some good time working around the house… and in between the laundry, sweeping, unpacking, dishes, and all the other not-so-fun-but-necessary stuff it hit me like a slap in the face. Loneliness. It tends to creep in on me on Sundays for some reason. Probably because I keep myself busy most other days, but it sure does sneak in. And it is just this wave that comes over me… thank goodness I wasn’t hormonal or I would’ve had to mop the floors over. I don’t want to sound pathetic or unstable… but even the best of us get down. And I am here to say that it is hard… it is hard to go to baby showers. It is hard to hear the happy news of your friend’s recent engagement. It is hard to see blissful, sweet couples. But through it all I have this underlying belief that it will happen. Sometimes that belief is so faint that it is hard to detect, but I feel like I have to hold onto something. So, on this roller coaster ride that is the single girl’s life… I am at that dip in the tracks… hopefully it will go up hill soon… heck, I could even go for being thrown for a loop right now. I do not want to fall into the bitter or cynical side of singledom. I find myself being envious of my friends and even strangers around me. But when it goes from “aww, how sweet, I want that” to “why do they get it and I don’t”, I know it’s time to check the mirror and make sure my blue eyes haven’t turned green. Jealousy don’t look good on anyone! So… here’s to kicking Dis Courage and Dis Appointment’s butts… and here’s to staying a blue eyed girl. Maybe I should go listen to Michael Bublé’s “Just Haven’t Met You Yet.” Yeah… that sounds like a plan.
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