{the run down... part 3}

<deet deet deet deet… deet deet deet deet>

UPDATE…

The Smile sent me more questions...  And he is from… BIRMINGHAM!  Yay for Alabama boys!!!

Ok… back to the business at hand.  We still have 8 more guys to introduce you to.  Whew… Eight… Really?  Ok…

Military Man… SO the Military Man is also a family man… he works with his father and sister as a manager of a construction firm.  He seems to have really great aspirations and also seems very appreciative for what he has in life.  I am sure some of that is due to his time in the service and his tours overseas.  He gets mad respect for all of the above!!!  So Military Man is TAAALLL… well, everyone is tall compared to me… but he is 6’3”… a whole foot and 2 inches above me.  He has great taste in music and is a cyclist… which I’m sure leads to nice calf muscles… the cycling, not the music.  He seems very appreciative and I really like how he mentions his gratitude for his family in his profile.  One thing that stands out is that he is into photography… maybe he could teach me how to finally use my crazy camera that has all the dials and buttons and settings that I have yet learned to use.  I like that someone who is most likely a structured person (from the military) has a creative release.  So… we shall see if the Military Man falls in line.

Ray of Sunshine… makes me feel all warm and sunny.  He seems, so far, to be the one who is my “type”… although I will still say that I really don’t think I have a “type.”  I guess he just seems like the one who I feel like I could really get a long with well.  Even if he is way up in LOL (Land O’ Lakes… no, not the butter Indian girl… but the city way the heck up there in the county of Pasco.)  He is very cute and seems like a fun, outgoing, active guy.  He seems to be very big on family.  I wish I could go back and read his answers to the questions (but my not-so-smart-phone doesn’t let me do that… well I should say the not-so-smart-app won’t let me do it.)  I will have to do that when I get home.  If I recall correctly he was very proud of the fact that he wants to find that perfect someone and start a family.  It is always nice to hear a guy be so certain that he wants to be in the serious committed relationship, marriage, and have kids!  It feels like a ray of sunshine.  So… now I wait for his response.  We flew through all the questions and back and forth qualities… got to the email stage and now I wait… To be fair, I too sometimes procrastinate once it is my turn to answer an email, it can be very easy to just select answers to questions, but when I have to express myself in full sentences I take it seriously and want to represent myself the best I can.  Sometimes I feel like there should be a timeline on this process.  You get through the questions and qualities and more questions to get to the emails… I think there should be 4 emails tops and then you should move onto personal email or texting and calling… things should run along just like that last run on sentence.  And once you have spoken, don’t wait too long to meet because you will start to cook up this idea of the person you have in your head and you need to know if he can hold up to your imagination… and if you’re lucky he can blow it away.

{the run down... part 2}

Ok… So there has been a little update to the lineup.  Since I am throwing Mr. Fish back to the sea (or in the Friendship Tank.)  I have filled his spot in The Dating Dozen with a new match The Prez.  I will give you the run down on The Prez a little later, as I am just being briefed on him now.  As for the others…

The Greek… I always picture the father from My Big Fat Greek Wedding spraying Windex on everything when I think Greek.  However, The Greek is neither big nor fat (although I have yet to learn if he wields Windex) and he actually does not look like a typical Greek.  <-- his words actually  I am interested to find out what his last name is and if I can spell or pronounce it.  Something with a –kos or –nos on the end of it.  In our conversations so far I have concluded that he would get along with my brother, they could talk cars… well, that is if my brother would talk.  He is in IT (of course) like my dad, my brother, my uncle, my exes… how do I get matched with these computery guys?  Great for when your computer is on the fritz and they usually have the best tech toys… so I can’t complain.  The Greek seems to have a very balanced sense of working and enjoying life.  One of my favorite things he wrote was the he wants someone who is understanding because he does dumb things sometimes (gotta love the honesty) and that he wants someone to grow with him.  That seems to be what page I am on.  He also admitted to liking the movie the Notebook… awwww.  And to bump his guy points up he followed it up with the Hangover and Gladiator… so still awwww, but not a sissy awww.  So The Greek gets points for being well rounded… my only worry so far is he wants me to go to the beach with him… right off the bat… a meeting in a bathing suit… that takes some moxie!  I better be careful of how much I indulge in that southern cooking on my vacation next week!  Opa!

Cajun Cutie… I imagine he has a Creole accent… or at least a nice southern draaaawlll.  He is originally from southern Louisiana and I can just picture the yummy crawfish boils and hear the zydeco music… man is my imagination stereotypical or what?  Like I have said before, I am a stickler for them southern boys… So the Cajun Cutie has been very sweet so far and says he is looking for friendship, someone he can share his life with and someone who wants to share theirs with him.  On another note he wants someone who is passionate and craves that in her life… do I detect a little Cajun spice there?  It may be silly, but I really do like that we are the same age… although my number is about to increase.  I wonder when his birthday is???  Oh… he like strawberries… a bit random, but cute.  He looks like he has pretty blue eyes in his pictures… he has a good range of pictures… better than the guys who put three up and they all look completely different.  Cajun Cutie is one I am excited to meet.  I can’t let my imagination get the better of me for too long without meeting him.  At least we have moved beyond the harmonious communications to actual personal email addresses… which gives me a last name and now I can Google him.  Ha!  Yes, I am a Googler!

{the run down... part 1}

Ok… Here’s the run down of the Dating Dozen…

Mr. Fish… he was the first to sail through the guided communication obstacle course.  I really appreciated that he was well worded and answered in actual sentences as opposed to grunts or 2 word pairings.  We spoke on the phone and seemed to, right away, form a bond over the mishaps of the online dating world.  We had our first date, which was enjoyable, but he called me out for talking too much (saying it was a defense mechanism.)  Even though he is right, (I tend to ramble when I am nervous) it is usually to people I am comfortable with.  I feel like we have this kinship from having had similar experiences in the fine world of dating, but I think after our second date (which I don’t know if I would classify as a “date”) that I am realizing the kinship for mutual experiences may be as far as this one goes.  It has made me realize that it is possible to feel comfortable and friendly with someone without having that certain chemistry that is VERY important.  I do feel bad because I have yet to express this to him; it is just a recent realization.  But I can give him credit for setting the bar on communication.  I do give BIG brownie points for those who can express themselves in writing (without being too wordy… there’s a fine line.)  So… Mr. Fish has me thinking I need to keep looking for the other fish in the sea and put him in the “friendship tank.”

The Smile… ahh that smile!  His first communication was that my profile “brought a smile to his face” and I replied with “I love your smile” (since I was restricted to a list of corny selections that the harmonious heads limit you to.)  Then… nothing… for what seemed like forever.  At first I thought maybe he wasn’t a paying member of the site yet and couldn’t communicate… but one morning <ding> there it was… his first 5 questions.  I get instant notification on my super-smart-phone (yep, there’s an app for that) when I get any communication from a match and I have to restrain myself from replying right away not to seem like an eager beaver.  But his notification sure as heck brought a SMILE to my face!  I casually answered his questions and sent mine… and low and behold the next day he sent his list of qualities… I couldn’t help myself this time and I sent my qualities right away… and now I wait… again… patiently…

On another note: The Smile is one of those that has the bells and whistles sound effect going off!!!! He is very easy to look at, comes across very sincere in his profile, he wants kids, has cats (now usually this could be a red flag for guys but when you have a smile like The Smile then you get a blue ribbon instead of a red flag for loving cats), he is close with his family, has good taste in music, and… and… AND… he is an Alabama fan.  Now, I am not an Alabama fan myself, but by him being an Alabama fan tells me that he has some ties to the South and I am a stickler for a southern boy who would enjoy going to see my mama and daddy in Sweet Home Alabama!  So… The Smile is at the top of my list… if he would only hurry and answer me back…

{the dating dozen}

So… I joined the whole we-match-harmoniously-for-you.com movement and let me tell you, it is a process and a half.  Sometimes it can be frustrating but it does serve its purpose of weeding out the non-committal types.  In the last month I have been matched with hundreds (not an exaggeration) of guys… there are those that you close out immediately (you know, the creepy Unabomber looking types)… there are those you archive for later (the ehhh, maybe he’s just not great at describing himself types)… and there are those that seem to have the bells and whistles sound effect going off while you read every dreamy detail about them (these are rare).  But in a month I have whittled down hundreds of hopefuls to a handful of possibilities.  Right now I am juggling communication with a good dozen. The Dating Dozen, if you will… “The Greek”, “Mr. Fish”, “Angry Birds”, “Ray of Sunshine”, “Military Man”, “Cajun Cutie”, “The Smile”, “Georgia on my Mind”, “The Steeler”, “The Guru”, “The Old Guy”, and “The Nose.”

The process is interesting and can be tedious… he asks you questions, you answer them and ask him your questions, you send lists of qualities, he sends you his, he sends more questions and you send even more questions… and then… the holy grail of “guided communication” is that you get to actually email.  Now, if they actually stick it out and make it to the email stage it is always interesting to see how these guys express themselves freely when they do not have a list of questions to choose from.  Most are very casual, joking about making it through the grueling process or saying how nice it is to “meet” you.  Others can be aggressive and continue to ask interrogating questions to where you feel a single bare light bulb shining on you or you are made to feel that you are interviewing for the prestige position to be seen on his arm.  The nice thing about this process is that you have the upper hand.  At any time you can hit the magic little button that says “Close Match” and <POOF>… they are gone.  I still have a conscience and feel bad when I reject someone, but I have to keep telling myself that it is better (and easier) now than later.  At times I feel a bit snobbish <doing my best nose in the air impression> but that’s the name of the game.  We are looking for the one perfect-for-us person, not the he’s-kinda-sorta-ok-when-he-doesn’t-open-his-mouth guy.  So be picky, but be realistic and open-minded at the same time.  Give ‘em a chance to prove clichés and stereotypes wrong, but just a chance, not a lifetime.  Say {hello}.

{hello there}

Hi... I am starting this little project to document my journey of dating in my 30's.  I am the single friend to my many, many happily married (and newly mommied) friends.  I have blind faith in the notion that I too will be happily married and mommied someday.  So... I am throwing out the stigmas of "don't find a guy in a bar" and "do find a guy in the grocery store".  I honestly believe love will find me as I am keeping my eyes wide open looking for it to show up.  I, of course, have fears and insecurities and hope that in sharing my process of finding the elusive "one", that I can overcome or at least better understand these fears.

so... what am I doing to find love? saying {hello} as much as possible.  I am saying {hello} on online dating sites... I am saying {hello} at both the grocery store and the bar... I am saying {hello} in the elevators and cafes... all in hopes that one of these {hello}s will be a {hello love}!