{Who knew?}

Nothing new… (no news to share)

Just waiting on two… (still talking to The Biologist and To Russia With Love)

I’m through… (ended my membership online)

What’s a girl to do? (let fate take over)

{End of an Era}

I finally remembered to cancel my membership to we-match-millions.com and I feel relieved.  I feel like I need a break from it all and maybe in doing that things will just work themselves out.  It was a good run and a good experience and I do still have the remaining four… well, we’ll call it three now.

To Russia with Love…

You’ve Got Mail…

The Biologist…

Honestly, I put The Biologist in the running for first seat.  I get the sense that our personalities match up the best.  I don’t think I have a good feel for the other two yet.  So, I am not counting them out.

It looks like I may have a week full of first meetings next week…. We’ll see…

In case you’re on the edge of your seat wondering what happened to Dr. Root Canal.  I have a feeling he flaked out.  We agreed to get together after we both returned home from traveling over the 4^th and I texted him to ask how his trip was and got no response.  So… I’m chalking that up to a no go.  Eh, it makes it easier to find the right one… process of elimination.

On a side note, a friend of mine asked me to dinner (I mentioned him about a month or so ago, stating that if I were going to get serious about someone I needed to do some clean up and stop spending my time with the guys who were purely convenient.)  Well, out of the blue he asks me if I wanted to have dinner and catch up.  This is very interesting… I think we have shared maybe 5 meals in the last 5 years that we have been friends.  Our relationship consisted of emails, texts, running into each other here and there and hanging out every once in a blue moon but always keeping in touch.  I think out of sheer curiosity I have accepted his dinner invite for tonight.  We will see how this goes…

So, come July 24^th my delivery of dating matches is going to be left up to fate, destiny, and fortune.  I hope they do a better job than the dot com.

{So...}

Here we go again…

I am trying to sequester my hopefulness.  But should I?  With all the ups and downs and ups and downs I am still so very hopeful and believe that one of them will stick… someday!  I feel like I am right back in the saddle again, except I am not going to do the whole Dating Dozen.  That’s just too much to handle and keep track of.  Right now I am learning to juggle with four.  And I have a feeling that may drop to three or even two very soon.

Let’s see… there is Dr. Root Canal, To Russia with Love, The Biologist, and You’ve Got Mail.  And personally…. Wait… what am I talking about “personally”, of course it is personal, this is all about me isn’t it? Ok… honestly… I think that The Biologist is on the top of the list.  But I am going off of one really great email.  I get this feeling that he is the best fit for me.  I like the similarities of his family and mine.  I like that he is an outdoorsy guy.  I like that he would fit in very well with my friends and my family. 

So… here we go again.  I am trying not to get excited and go through the same motions all over again.  But shouldn’t I get excited if that’s what I am?  Am I naïve if I let this happen over and over again or is that the nature of dating?  I want to be thankful that I have this opportunity again.  I want to be happy that there is someone that makes me hopeful still.  I don’t want to dwell on all the times that didn’t work out.  I choose to be the Pollyanna of the dating world. (I wonder how many people will get that reference)

So… here we go again.  Maybe bachelor number 1,004 will be the one.   

{Takin’ a break}

I have decided to take a break from the pursuit of coupledom.  If it happens, it happens.  I will continue to keep my eyes and my heart open, but I will not be obsessing over it, thinking of it every single moment, and wonder when, when, when it will come to me.  I am going to get things in order for myself, spend time with friends, and let it be.

Let it be… perfect sentiment! 

Speaking words of wisdom… let it be!

I have a couple of last feelers out from the we-match-for-you-harmoniously… I will see where they go.  And I will continue to sift through the matches of this last month and then I think I will freeze my membership.  It has gotten daunting and I am burnt out.  I think I have just as good of a chance meeting a stranger on the street than I do online.  I mean with being matched with over 1,000 people and only meeting 4…

Maybe I should do a study… say “hello” to a 1,000 guys and see if 4 ask me out.  Ha!

Nah… let it be!

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,

there will be an answer, let it be.

For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,

there will be an answer, let it be.

{Back to the Dating Board??}

Here I go again… back to actually paying attention to the ever so daunting online dating matches.  I shouldn’t sound so forlorn about it.  I should be excited for the possibilities.  But in all honesty, it is a bit discouraging when try after try does not work out.  I do not want to count out The Smile completely, but I have to think that if for two weekends in a row he makes no attempt at seeing me, then he must not be that interested.  It’s sad because he still makes me smile, I guess the idea of him makes me smile… but I need the reality.  I need a REAL boyfriend, one who wants to spend time with me.

It does make me wonder what I do to drive them away… can I chalk it up to opening up too much too soon?  Not staying mysterious?  Or is it a factor of the online dating community where he is constantly given new matches (as am I)?  Well, I guess I just go back to the dating board!

I have two matches that I have been communicating with.  One has called me and he seems like a great guy and we have had a really good 3 hour conversation.  However, he is traveling and I am traveling and we will not be able to meet up for a few weeks… We will name him Dr. Root Canal (I’m sure that will make some of you cringe… but hey… it’s what he does.)

There is another match that I need to email back… we shall dub him To Russia With Love.  I am a little reluctant because he only has one picture on his profile and I have a little hang up about that.  If you cannot come up with at least three pictures of yourself then it makes me wonder a bit.  Do you not have good friends or have good times where cameras are involved?  In your 30 some odd years (preferably in the last year or two) do you not have more than one picture of yourself that you care for?  I am picky about photos myself, but I will find ones that represent who I am so that I can give the right impression.

Any who…

We will see where things go with Dr. Root Canal and To Russia With Love.  Ha… I have so much fun making up these names… maybe I should stick around the online dating for the giggles.

{gut feelings or OCD?}

What is the difference between over analyzing and intuition?  When you are dating someone and you start thinking “maybe he’s not that into me because he hasn’t made an effort to see me when I know he doesn’t have other plans”… is this over analyzing or is it intuition kicking in to prepare you… and if you concentrate on it will it become a self fulfilled prophecy? 

When I am in relationships I can handle my heart… I can let it go, feel all it wants, and even if it gets hurt, I can handle that too.  What I can’t handle is my head.  How can I turn off the constant thought?  And should I?  I have always had accurate gut feelings and when I get to the point I start thinking things that involve my gut I should go ahead and call it quits.  But again, can it be self fulfilling?  Is that my defense mechanism or some sort of OCD? 

Will there be someone who comes along and just wipes all of it away?  Will my thoughts and concerns finally be reduced to how much I like him or how much I LIKE him?  I never want to be blind sided and I can see the security in being aware, but I think I would like some sort of balance of being blissfully unaware and being content.  Someday… right?

{the ga ga phase}

Ok… so maybe I have read too many self help books and over think situations too much, but I wonder how you are supposed to know who the elusive “one” is???  I think by the time I actually admit that I like someone and I am excited to spend time with them… which is actually rare, or at least not at a high ratio to the number of guys that I’ve met… when I have come to the point where I will admit I like them, that I am willing to be vulnerable with my feelings it seems that if I can continually spend time with them my feelings will get stronger and I will get to the whole ga ga phase (and not Lady Gaga…that’s a whole other phase all together.)  But… at the same time, if I open myself up to someone and admit to my feelings and things kind of pan off, we don’t spend a lot of time together, etc… I just chalk it up to them not being the “one”.  Am I supposed to let go of it that easily?

I have been lead to believe that if he wanted to be with me he would be making every effort to want to spend as much time as possible with me.  But where is the give and take?  If I don’t make the effort and he doesn’t make the effort… then do we let a rare find of compatibility just slip away?  Is it because one is waiting for confirmation from the other, do both of us over think things and not want to come across too needy?  Ugh!  Maybe I should be a hermit.  Maybe I should get two more cats and be the creepy single girl with too many cats. 

**on a side note… I saw a car the other day with those stick people stickers on the back of it and it was a girl stick person with four stick figure cats… who would advertise that???

… ok… so back to the matter at hand… should I assume that if he isn’t making consistent plans to see me then he isn’t that interested?  Has the excitement subsided?  Or do I suck up the pride and actually call him, see what he’s been up to?  Grrr…. Dating ain’t for sissies!!!!