I am trying to nail down the patterns that I am starting to see develop. When your inbox is flooded by emails from people who you don’t know from Adam… it can get hard to keep a grip on reality. Yes, it is complementary that there are people who are interested in you. They have seen your pictures, they have read your blurb, and now they have this idea in their head as to who you are and what they like about you. I also have to remind myself that I am on the other side of this spectrum too. I am looking at these profiles and photos and trying to imagine who these guys are. And that’s what you can’t loose track of; you have your own idea of who they are. You have perceived things from a few photos and short words.
I get excited when there is someone that I can email back and forth for a few days. It is very nice that someone shows interest in me to continuously hold a conversation. It is easy to lose yourself in this pseudo online relationship. Then there are the ones you may be interested in that will email you but not hold a steady stream of contact. And because we are human we will crave the attention of the one who isn’t giving it as freely.
I am thankful for the ones with back and forth conversations that hold my interest, and the fact that I am obviously holding his interest since he keeps the conversation going. I cannot, however, let myself get lost in it. I am starting to drift off to this area of thought where I feel like I know him, almost as if I have met him and have the feeling that I know everything about him. Don… don… don… don… The comfort zone. The comfort zone is great when you have actually met someone. But don’t get lost in it when you simply emailing back and forth. You will set yourself up for disappointment if you give into your imagination too much. You want to stay as realistic (not pessimistic) as possible. Keep your thoughts of him to what you absolutely know about him. He’s tall. He has brown hair. His picture is attractive. He has a dog. He is an engineer. He likes Mumford and Sons. Keep it simple and embrace the facts. So when you meet him all of the things that underlie those facts will come out and you will be surprised… and hopefully impressed.
As for those guys that don’t give you as much but you are still interested in knowing them; you end up being patient when it comes to their timeliness. You are going to end up imagining so much more about them. It is the case of wanting what you can’t have. And you will start making excuses as to why it takes 5 days for him to answer your email. You are going to exaggerate all of the good qualities you think you know about him. You are going to imagine yourself with him so much more than the guy you are talking to every single day. This is all superficial. Yes, they may turn out to be a great guy who was just busy, but you have to recognize the obvious. If a guy is returning your emails 10 minutes after you send them (every time)… he is interested in you. If a guy is answering your emails every 5 days… something else is holding his interest.
My advice is this… keep your feet grounded in the reality of the situation while you let your imagination run wild. Be hopeful, but be rational. And for goodness sakes, meet them as soon as you can.
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