{who said it was going to be easy?}

blah...

just blah...

Why is it that I meet a guy who will, without a doubt, be an amazing, doting boyfriend...  who is a super nice guy... who adores me already...  and who actually wants a serious, committed relationship.. and I can't stand him?  That sounds harsh, but it is completely true.  He is too nice, too smart, too awkward, just too TOO.  I am having a dating identity crisis here.  On paper, he is amazing... but when i talk to him I roll my eyes at things that he says.  I even had the friends meet him and give their opinion.  Really I wanted to make sure I am not crazy.  And their assessment is... he's great... he's super nice... he's really smart... and he really likes you... BUT... he's too much.

I feel like Dating-locks and the Three Bears... one is tooo nice, the other isn't nice enough... where is the "juuuuuuuuuuust right one"?

{day ???}

So... apparently I am horrible at diets... dating diets at least.  I broke my pact and had a date last night.  It was very nice, very simple, very long.  We just had dinner, but ended up being the last people at the restaurant.  We talked for 5 hours... non-stop.  My throat hurt this morning from talking so much... and yes... i actually let him get a word in edgewise.  He is nice, and seems like a normal guy.  We shared a lot of the same opinions.  I like that he is a couple of years older than me and seems to have everything in line.  I think we will keep this one around and see where it goes.  No second date scheduled yet, but he did text me a little message this morning.

We shall see...

{day 1}

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. ~Theodore Roosevelt

Where I am… where am I?  I am in a rut.  I am neither happy, nor sad.  I feel a need for change.  Not major change, but improvement.  On that note, I found this quote tonight:

Today I want you to ask yourself this one question, “Why not you?”  Why not you to do something for work that you love?  Why not you to have a healthy body? Why not you to have healthy love?  Why not you to be, have, or do anything you have ever dreamed?  We are so quick to think others are deserving over ourselves.  The truth is that we are all deserving.  So why not you? ~Jillian Michaels

Sometimes I feel like I need my own personal Jillian to hold me accountable.  Why can’t my will power be Jillian re-incarnated?  Is it re-incarnation when it is not an actual being?  I digress… I’m going to start using Jillian as a verb.  Time to Jillian up this situation.  I need a Jillian Cricket on my shoulder.

Ok Jillian… I’m buying it.  Why not me?

I deserve to be happy with myself, my life, my habits, and my relationships.

So… Day 1:  I keep thinking that I didn’t do much.  In fact I feel like I failed on the nutritional side of my “DIET.”  However, I did get things done around the house and I tackled the mountain of laundry.  I also put a halt on the dating scene by telling a couple of suitors that I had plans through the weekend.

So, in retrospect, Day 1 was a good start.  Let’s see how Day 2 will go…

{trimming down}

I’m going on a dating diet for one week.  I am going to only concentrate on me for one whole week.  I am going to get things done on my “to do” list.  I am going to improve my habits.  And I am going to be in the company of only my friends, neighbors, and cats for one week.  And at the end of this week I am going to assess my situation.  I am going to see what is important to me.  And during this time I am going on a financial diet, as well as a nutritional diet.  One week… seven days… Doesn’t sound hard does it?

{woosaw}

I am having a moment of crazy...

I am right to listen to my gut....

But I have also come to the realization that I try way to hard to rescue things or prove myself...

Woooooosaw...

I need a new perspective...

I need to step back...

I need a nap (no a hibernation)...

Ok, here is my declaration... In November I will concentrate on myself.  I will do things that benefit me.  I will find a way to make myself happy without needing others to be the source of it.

How the heck am I going to do that?

Step one:  Start running again!